Neil Diamond - worst theme ever?

Let me start with this -- Neil Diamond, you are no Andrew Lloyd Webber. It is quite shocking that I could say this considering I have only had negative things to say about ALW for quite some time. But seriously, Neil basically had these contestants sing for him and then he said, oh you're okay. No guidance was given or at least, no guidance was shown. And the songs pretty much sucked -- maybe if we heard more than 4 seconds of each song it would have been okay?

Second point, I forgot about that song Cherry, Cherry -- whoever does that could be my winner. Now to the contestants...

Jason Castro -- "Forever in Blue Jeans" COME ON he really forgot to look at the right lyrics sheets while singing in front of Neil Diamond? Is this guy an idiot? I would like to know his back story. Look Carrie Underwood was from a one stoplight town in Oklahoma and she wasn't an idiot. I have to say, though, that this guy is so freaking lucky -- what a great mentor theme for him! Despite his being able to stay after sucking last week, he couldn't have picked a better theme to have a shot with. First song done, pretty well done.

The problem is right now I am so mad that he is there over Carly, that I can't deal.

David Cook -- "I'm Alive" Even Neil, who isn't really that excited to be here got goosebumps. So song 1 is him doing his raw voice as Simon likes. First song, good, but not a great song choice for me.

No problem with him because I thought he deserved to stay even though Carly left, so I can deal.

Brooke White -- "I'm a Believer" Are you a hugger or a handshaker? I personally am mad at her, so I would say neither. I think I'm a believer is a dumb song and I can only think of Shrek recently, and although I am glad she didn't dance, she looked retarded. Did Paula really feel the need to dance to this? And why was Brooke wearing silver pants that did not match her denim shirt?

The problem is right now I am so mad that she is there over Carly that I can't deal.

David Archuleta -- "Sweet Caroline" I might have to shut off the TV. Carly has already said on multiple interviews that she was going to do Sweet Caroline this week -- with a cello and piano, in a slowed down version. I can't believe Gaspuleta is stealing her song before her grave is even cold!!! Neil called him a prodigy which is another term for a freak. This poor kid has been ruined by his stage father. Cheesy Simon Fuller (remember he created the Spice Girls) loves this kid. And I feel bad because he is sweet and actually has a great voice, but the relevance is so off the mark, that I can't fall for it. He did not make Sweet Caroline cheesier than it already is with a trumpet background, did he?

The problem is right now I am so mad that Carly isn't there that although I knew he still would be, I can't deal.

Syesha -- "Hello Again" Neil Diamond has the hots for Syesha. He said she is infectious and wanted to hug her. Brooke had to ask if he liked a handshake or a hug, but her asked to hug Syesha. Gross. Okay, the hand waving in her face while she smiled and sang Hello again -- this girl is so not genuine. Stop smiling! And let me explain something to everyone -- yes, I am pulling the singing card on you all --she has no resonance to her tone -- it is straight, has no depth, it is like listening in monotone instead of stereo. And girl, put on some shoes!!

The problem is right now I am so mad that Carly isn't there and this zero personality or depth is, that I can't deal.

END OF ROUND 1 --
Randy, no for Jason, Cook was solid, Brooke karaoke, Archuleta was THE BOMB (WHAT??), Syesha was strong
Paula, WHAT? She is retarded. Simon was trying to save her, poor woman
Simon, Jason forgettable, David C above average, Brooke a nightmare, Archuleta was amateurish, Syesha old fashioned. He says none of this is top 5 material ABSOLUTELY RIGHT SIMON.

DING, DING, DING ROUND 2

Jason Castro -- "September Morn" He is doing an impression of Neil Diamond. But it suits him. God this song is cheesy. He is just not a strong vocalist. I really liked that Simon admonished him for not being the guy they put into the competition. He has strayed really far. BUH BYE

David Cook -- "All I Really Need Is You" I have only heard two lines and I am going to download this. His voice makes each song modern. And he proves that he will make a great album because his song choices are great. I don't know this song or what it really sounds like, but I want this right now. Number One hit. Simon and I are totally in sync. Paula has already declared him the American Idol and Simon said he was brilliant. VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE

Can I just say that I am so sad that it couldn't have been David Cook, Carly and Michael Johns top 3 -- what a competition! I still think David C would have won because he has been consistently better, but that would have really given us a show. Now he is just such a shoo in and so above and beyond better than these others, it looks lame.

Brooke White -- "I am I Said" She wrote the words on her hand. Retard. HOWEVER, very good song choice. This is why she was chosen to be on this show. Not a great vocal, though, which is still a problem. But she should have always sung like this and KEPT HER MOUTH SHUT. OK DOG

David A -- "America" COME ON -- who is not laughing right now? Am I watching Mickey Mouse Club? This kid is just too young. Damn it he has great vocal cords, but who is buying his albums? Watch, next he will be photographed naked by Annie Leibovitz for Vanity Fair. How much money are the judges getting paid to tell him he is great? I feel bad for not liking him, but I don't. And I know he will be in the finale, but I really hope he doesn't win. OK DOG

Syesha -- "Thank the Lord for the Nighttime" Look Syesha is the only black singer in the top 10 this year and I think that is a shame. She is so flat and tinny and not SOUL at all. And I don't think she is genuine at all. So we are not getting any great soul music this season which I enjoy. Simon thinks she is in trouble. She did not have a memorable second song. Why is Paula fighting so hard for her? Go drink something Paula. BUH BYE

Don't like the rushing of two songs for such a bad theme. Make them do one Neil Diamond and one other song or just one song total. No one did Cherry Cherry, but no doubt in my mind that David Cook was the clear winner of tonight. I am only voting for him -- about 20 times.

Wow, Carly I miss you. You know what, though? She was on WPLJ talking to Scott and Todd and she is psyched to make her album and have some extra time before the tour to do it. Awesome, I will be waiting.

And for all of you,

don't be ashamed of your obsessions...