The Grammy's

The show opens with Gaga and a crazy Fame Factory stage. She sings Poker Face in a green leotard and gets thrown in a fire and then comes out with dueling pianos with Elton John - both are burned and ashy. I am not a Gaga crazed person -- I've pretty much enjoyed all of her songs, but I don't need to go to her concerts like many that I know. I don't want to go to a party because she is performing. BUT, I will say this -- the woman can actually sing and perform. Love that Elton still stays culturally relevant by joining forces with performers like Gaga and Eminem. She deserves her nominations.

Stephen Colbert comes out to monologue -- was that really his daughter? I just don't think it is necessary for anyone to talk about the Jonas Brothers or Susan Boyle. Even if they are making fun of them.

Song of the Year -- Poker Face, Single Ladies, Use Somebody, Pretty Wings by Maxwell and You Belong with Me by Taylor. This is for the songwriter. I say Use Somebody, but put a ring on it is obviously the best writing!?!

So Green Day has now created a Broadway Show. I was just about to fast forward, but I totally got sucked in. Green Day is cool.

Love that Bon Jovi is the band warranting the fan vote. I didn't vote because I've seen them sing it all, but I would go for It's My Life -- Living on a Prayer has been done and Always makes me cry.

Country Album -- Zac Brown, George Strait, Taylor Swift, Keith Urban, LeeAnn Womack -- should and will go to Taylor. Yup. Very stunning dress.

Beyonce leads an army to the stage. They are really using the full venue for this. She has such an amazing voice. The heart of her voice is so strong in her upper range. She doesn't strain or scream. I like that she picked to sing If I Were a Boy. Great song. Then she goes into Alanis -- my go to karaoke song, FYI. Then she freaked out on her knees on the stage. The drama is a little too much to take.

WOW WOW WOW Pink blew me away -- such a beautiful performance. We've seen her trapeze before, but this goddess gown walking down the aisle, then the unveiling of the ribbon unitard, then the arial performance, the dunking and then the finale. All while singing a gorgeous song.

Oh Miranda, BAD dress, BAD dress, BAD dress. Keith, you're HOT, you're HOT, you're HOT.

Best New Artist -- I only know Zac Brown and The Ting Tings (they are just this year?) Zac Brown wins -- this band is so fun live - amazing musicians. Zac has a gorgeous voice. So cool!

Fast forwarding Black Eyed Peas -- I have seen them enough. Done. Ready for Fergie solo album again (in a year or so).

Lady Antebellum comes out. Getting the new album stat. This song is growing on me, but I'm ready for their next single which is supposed to be that sweet twangy kind of thing.

Record of the Year (for the producer) -- Halo, I Gotta a Feeling, Use Somebody, Poker Face, You Belong with Me. I say Use Somebody or I Gotta a Feeling. Kings of Leon win. I thought there was something like they didn't want to be at the Grammy's -- or just not perform? That main guy is so cute. I can't remember which brother is which.

Someone wants to cause me extreme pain -- Jamie Foxx plus T-Pain plus Slash plus Doug E Fresh in an auto tune debacle. I HATE AUTO TUNE and I HATE JAMIE FOXX and I HATE T PAIN. Now I hate Slash and Doug E Fresh for being a part of their performance.

Rock Album - Green Day, will never forget my friend Amanda from my year abroad in Paris who dated two of them before their big break. She was a riot.

Zac Brown!!! Yes they are country on the charts, but they are more than one genre. Did you hear the crazy jam of America the Beautiful? Insane!

So now Taylor Swift is on and this gives me the opportunity to call out my friend AMY STARKEY. I know she has read all of my blogs, so she knows that I don't think Taylor can sing. Just because I love country music does not mean that I need to be held responsible for all of it. But since I am forced once again to defend it, here goes. Taylor Swift is young. She is a good songwriter of country pop songs - very good compared to other songwriters her age and even some older than her. Her records are fun to listen to -- dreamy teenage heartache, catchy revenge songs, sweet love songs. She needs to strengthen her singing. I am not the one who has made her a superstar -- the people who bought her albums in record numbers did. I am not the one to hate and I do not need to defend her again. You don't like her, then fast forward it. I don't care!!! Oh and Amy, then cracking about Jon Bon Jovi's hair? Do I cut his hair? Is there a need to make fun of him? The man has sold albums and had a career for over 20 years. And he looks damn good. You don't like him? Then don't listen. I don't care. And if you have so much to say, then write your own blog.

There, done. (I love you Ams :))

Michael Jackson tribute is a new version of his Earth Song sung by MJ, plus Celine Dion, Usher, Carrie Underwood, Jennifer Hudson and Smokey Robinson. The audience is wearing 3D glasses. Beyonce is rocking out in the audience. WillIAm does not look happy. Carrie looks STUNNING and is really rocking out! Such an eclectic group but they really melded together. Nice way to do a tribute instead of the same old, same old. Super cool.

This Grammy's is one of the best ever. RIght? But now MJ's kids are going to come out which seems so weird. They are stunning kids. Very well spoken Prince. He is a real kid. Oh, no Paris, she breaks my heart.

JBJ hits the stage - can't wait til the new Meadowlands Stadium concert this summer!! Amy, suck it, he looks great. Starts with the new single We Weren't Born to Follow and then brings out my favorite -- Jennifer Nettles of SUGARLAND to sing Who Says You Can't Go Home -- I love her!!! Go Gillian, she looks fantastic. All my fashion friends who don't want to help me dress her are RETARDED. I did help her with the red carpet outfit, thank you Victoria Beckham! Richie and JBJ sandwich. The fans voted for Livin' on a Prayer and Richie got to bring out that voice thingy (I forgot what it is called!) Jennifer sings along (oh I would have voted a zillion times for Always if I had known she was going to duet).

Rap / Sung Collaboration -- would have been funny if Andy Samberg had won. But Jay Z and Rihanna and Kanye deserve it. Who is the little kid?

Go Target for their iTunes collaboration - nice marketing deal.

David Foster song for Haitian relief with Andre Bocelli. Yikes, I can't do it. This guy is EVERYWHERE. Surprise, Mary J comes out too. She needs to take a break. Sorry, I know she is amazing, but she is seriously everywhere.

Dave Matthews Band is celebrating 20 years? God, I am old. I make fun of them now with the ubiquitous touring, but I did go nuts over the first 2 albums. Dancing in Raj and Prit's apartment - so fun. Dave likes to dance too -- or whatever that was called.

Remember Ricky Martin's Grammy performance that launched him into superstardom? I am kind of missing hearing something new tonight. Adele, Beyonce, Pink, Katy Perry, Taylor - Female Pop Performance goes to Beyonce. I give her credit for not being afraid of wearing big dresses. I wouldn't have minded seeing Pink get something. She is cool. But this was worth the shout out to Jay Z - has she ever done that? Is that her sister's kid?

Maxwell could be my new thing. I've heard about this album, but haven't listened. He has gotten better with age. Very smooth. Have I told you how much I love the new Alicia Keys album? Uggh I can't stop listening to it - it is awesome. Roberta Flack's face does not move.

What is Quentin Tarantino wearing? He is a freak. Drake with Eminem and Lil Wayne. With the way he introduced it, it should be spectacular. Oh, I might hate Lil Wayne as much as T Pain.

Final award is Album of the Year -- Beyonce, Black Eye Peas, Lady Gaga in yet another get up!, Dave Matthews Band, Taylor Swift. I would say Beyonce, but Taylor wins it. Incredible. As I said to Amy earlier, it is a start to finish album, you never have to forward a song. And it was the top seller of the year. I think Gaga is going to lose it. She is genuine so psyched.

Well that is the end of this one folks. It was a good show -- not a lot of awards which is a little weird, but probably made it better. Maybe Amy will guest blog next year?

Good night and remember, don't be ashamed of your obsessions, or making fun of mine.